Didn't expect this to happen right now...

I have not been on track for a couple weeks. Thankfully, I have not really gained anything back. Granted, I got down to 201 and I am now holding steady at 204 again, but nutrition-wise, I'm not doing a very good job. I hadn't been to the gym until Monday since before the New Year started.

I've been really sad and lonely, and I noticed that I'm getting back into emotional eating. The reasons I started emotional eating and doing other less healthful things don't need to be reviewed here, but feeling like this again makes it clear to me that it's not just about food. It's not about being a glutton or just inherently fat and lazy. That's one thing I need to get through my head.

The momentary rush I get when I eat things that aren't nutritionally good for me makes me feel better for a second and then I need a lot of seconds, literally and figuratively.

To you who are following, thanks for being there for me. I'm nervous but I know I need to get back on plan because I will feel better physically and emotionally and mentally. I know I get a better rush when I work out, but with the busy schedule I have this month, working out is not nearly as easy as stuffing my face :(

Here's to getting through each day, moment by moment, and getting done with January so that February can be back to being devoted to me.