Measurements August 2010

I had my measurements again yesterday. I'm officially down a full 10 pounds, 6% body fat, and I think I've lost close to 10 inches as well overall.

I'm very proud of myself right now and enjoying everything right now. I've been sick all week so I haven't been in the gym but I had a great session with Tarryn of United Body Fitness in Flagstaff yesterday and am so sore today, and I love it. My biggest motivation right now is a certain trip I'm going on in December. I want to see jaws drop :) I think it's highly possible.

I'm attaching a recent photo from the gym. Forgive the horrible work out clothes, but please note the smaller arms, legs and tummy :)

Old Photos

Going thru my iPhoto gallery today, I noticed that those early photos I have saved on here presented a truth I didn't realize two years ago.

Looking at those photos, I told my friend, "That must have been when I was at my heaviest. Why didn't anyone tell me?" She, of course, responded with "How does someone say that to someone they love?"

That is an excellent question, I think. How do we tell each other when our decisions and our lifestyles are creating health risks and unhappiness? And was I unhappy then? Oh definitely yes.

Lots of thoughts went thru my head, looking at those photos:

• How did I not notice?
• But I was riding my bike and walking and taking the bus - shouldn't I have been fitter?
• Is that why Tyler left?
• What was I doing wrong?

And plenty more...

But realistically, I know the answers to those questions

• You didn't want to notice.
• You didn't want to be fitter.
• Tyler didn't want to be with anyone.
• Everything and nothing.

I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Comments have been made to me along the lines of "I'm so glad you're finally doing this." Comments and promises were also made to me a while ago that people were going to stick by me and motivate me and encourage me, years ago. And I was bitter and angry for a bit that no one pushed me into doing this "like they promised."

The problem was I hadn't made a promise to myself. I have now. It's Saturday. I'm going to finish my laundry, and then I'm going to go to the gym. And I'm going to smile about it because the answer to those questions now? It doesn't matter - those are 2 year old questions and they're irrelevant to today.

:)

Before Photos

By the talented Nathan Morrissey, please check his website out.

Rough Day

Ok, first off, I know I need to post more, even if just for my own benefit. But not having steady internet access makes this a challenge.

Second of all, I'm backsliding a lot lately which makes me really sad. I know I can keep this up, but I'm having a hard time maintaining motivation without work out buddies and someone to check in with. Moving to Chandler should be different, I'm hoping, because I'll be out of work at 3:30pm every day, and should be able to spend a good amount of time at the gym daily.

And with my new job coming up (and only a half hour lunch), I think I'll have better opportunities to buy, make, and take healthy meals for at home and on the go.

The rough day has come from some depressing thoughts, but most especially the first spinning class I took. Literally made me sick. I had to leave. I hate that it happened, and I don't know if I'll be back, because I wasn't enjoying myself at all, but I am looking forward to my two training sessions this week. :)