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Didn't expect this to happen right now...

I have not been on track for a couple weeks. Thankfully, I have not really gained anything back. Granted, I got down to 201 and I am now holding steady at 204 again, but nutrition-wise, I'm not doing a very good job. I hadn't been to the gym until Monday since before the New Year started.

I've been really sad and lonely, and I noticed that I'm getting back into emotional eating. The reasons I started emotional eating and doing other less healthful things don't need to be reviewed here, but feeling like this again makes it clear to me that it's not just about food. It's not about being a glutton or just inherently fat and lazy. That's one thing I need to get through my head.

The momentary rush I get when I eat things that aren't nutritionally good for me makes me feel better for a second and then I need a lot of seconds, literally and figuratively.

To you who are following, thanks for being there for me. I'm nervous but I know I need to get back on plan because I will feel better physically and emotionally and mentally. I know I get a better rush when I work out, but with the busy schedule I have this month, working out is not nearly as easy as stuffing my face :(

Here's to getting through each day, moment by moment, and getting done with January so that February can be back to being devoted to me.

2011

Well, I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. I believe in daily resolutions. Committing myself every day to me.

Taking care of myself will be my number 1 priority this year. Maintaining and strengthening good relationships, jettisoning people who I don't need in my life, and continuing to be a positive and happy person are my goals for this year.

I made it through the holidays without gaining a mess of weight back (only about 2lbs of water weight) and that, in and of itself, is one of the biggest accomplishments, because I'm holding steady at 20lbs lost - THE HEALTHY WAY - over the holidays. I'm starting January off with the goal of being under 200lbs by the end of the month. When that happens, I think I will re-dye my hair or something. And the way things have been going, I'll probably cry too haha.

Thanks for all the support, everyone. All of you who are sneakily reading my blog and not telling me should shoot me an email or something so I know you're there. The more readers and feedback I get, the more likely I am to post. You all help me stay accountable and motivated.

Love and Happy New Year to you all.
-tonya

No Day But Today...

I thought I'd still be waiting a couple more days - but today's the day.

20 pounds gone forever.

Yes, I cried. And I'm so proud of myself for gaining all that I have in the last few months.

20 pounds...

Within the next few days, I anticipate seeing one more pound come off me on the scale, indicating the first 20 pounds gone.

It's been a slow and somewhat difficult process. It gets easier every day. I started in May and yes, I could have lost a lot more weight by now. I could have NOT gained 10 pounds back when I moved to Phoenix. But I didn't lose more weight and I did gain ten pounds and I don't care. And by don't care, I mean I am actually completely content with where I am. Because it's where I am and I can't change where I am today by worrying about what I didn't do in the last 7 or so months.

The 19 pounds I've lost as of today are 19 pounds that are not coming back. I am way happier about that last bit than the number of pounds. I have changed my life and I have changed how I deal with things.

A certain ... I don't want to call him a mistake, but he might have been, a certain person from my life texted me today. He apologized AGAIN but I imagine he's just in some phase of sobriety that won't last long, as always, but instead of freaking out and eating everything in sight, I freaked out, talked to my friends and ran it out on the gym. And that felt way better than chocolate would have. Especially since 40 minutes of cardio is a lot better for me than 40 minutes of eating.

Little changes my friends. And as I anticipate the 20th pound, I am reminded that every pound counts, every effort to change my lifestyle counts, and every smile and tear and sore muscle and shortened breath count - and they all add up to so much more than weight loss. They add up to me being so much healthier in so many ways.

hCG Diet post and update

on the hCG Diet:
A lot of people have referenced the hCG diet as the best thing since (not eating) sliced bread to lose weight but I implore you to read the article I posted previously. Even if it doesn't change your mind about it, I think it's important to know both sides of the hCG story. 500 calories and injections are not sustainable, they're not part of a healthy lifestyle, and it costs more money for injections than my grocery budget every week, so I'm not really sure how this works for anyone, but I guess it does. For awhile. But for how long? I guess no one's really sure on that one yet.

Here are two highlights of the article, if you don't feel like reading the whole thing:

- "A range of body “flush and detox” regimens. Here’s my quote from a prior WebMD interview about this regimen. “All the flushes and cleanses are pure nonsense, unnecessary, and there is no scientific basis for these recommendations,” says nutrition and metabolism expert Pamela Peeke, MD, chief medical correspondent for Discovery Health channel. “Your body is well equipped with organs, such as the liver and kidneys, and the immune system, to rid itself of potential toxins and do an excellent job of cleansing itself without needing flushes or cleanses."

- "If I had you consume only 500 calories per day and then injected you with water, should I now call this the amazing water cure for weight loss? hCG has nothing to do with your weight loss. Starvation does."

Again, I remind anyone who reads this blog that my weight loss is a symptom of a healthier lifestyle -- an enjoyable but not entirely necessary consequence of living better.

So here comes the update:

I am approaching the 20lbs lost mark. I bought a dress in a size 14. These things, while exciting, are not that important.

Here is what is important:
-I can outlast most of the people at my gym on the cardio machines.
-I have built my own program and I love it because it's not a program anymore - it's the way I live.
-I feel better than I ever have and I haven't been seriously sick in a very long time - a very big change that I definitely believe is caused by increased activity and better nutrition.
-I see and feel changes in my body every day and 99% of them are positive.
-Part of me is concerned that I may become less attractive as I lose weight. I've always been more or less comfortable with who I am and what I look like (and by always, I mean since college), and the what I look like is definitely changing. It doesn't matter though, because I need to be healthier. So I will look different, and maybe not better or maybe not worse.


Aaaaaaaand Pictures:

the hCG diet - so highly touted, but proven dangerous and to be just one of many diet scams

So, here’s the bottom line on this “hCG Diet“.
Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is a hormone approved by the FDA for use in pre-pubertal boys to help aid normal sexual development, and in women to treat fertility problems. hCG is produced by the placenta and is also found in pregnant women’s urine. It is not approved for weight loss and has never been proven by credible peer reviewed science to cause weight loss. So how did hCG surface as a weight loss solution?

Back in the 1930’s, a physician named A.T.W. Simeons was using hCG for the standard reproductive medical conditions for which it was approved. He observed that some of his patients dropped weight while on the hCG injections. Thinking that perhaps the hCG was the cause, he administered the injections along with a dietary plan to overweight patients and noted weight loss. Please note that subsequent researchers repeated his clinical study and were never able to replicate any association between hCG and weight loss.

Since then, most independent, peer-reviewed studies have shown no difference in weight loss between subjects on a low-calorie diet who received hCG injections and subjects who received a placebo. In 1975, the FDA noted that hCG is not a weight loss drug. In 1995, the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology published a summary of research showing no hCG related weight loss association. The American Society of Bariatric Physicians does not recommend hCG for weight loss as noted in a December 2009 position paper.

Flash forward to 2007 when Kevin Trudeau published his book “The Weight Loss Cure ‘They’ Don’t Want You to Know About“, in which he concocted a weight loss plan which included hCG injections. Trudeau has no professional training in medicine, health or science. He is widely known as a controversial businessman who has tangled with the law regarding false health claims related to his books and products. You’d think that common sense would dictate running the other way when this guy hawks anything. But, people are desperate and when they are promised rapid weight loss and an end to their misery, they’ll often line up to sign up.

What is involved with the hCG “diet”:

1) Daily injections of hCG, with online prices ranging from $30 to more than $600 for a month’s supply. One side effect is pregnancy, as hCG increases fertility among women.

2) 500 calories per day of highly restrictive food intake, including coconut oil. One tablespoon of coconut oil contains 13.6 g total fats, 11.8 g of which are artery clogging saturated fats, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture National Nutrient Database for Standard Reference.

3) A range of body “flush and detox” regimens. Here’s my quote from a prior WebMD interview about this regimen. “All the flushes and cleanses are pure nonsense, unnecessary, and there is no scientific basis for these recommendations,” says nutrition and metabolism expert Pamela Peeke, MD, chief medical correspondent for Discovery Health channel. “Your body is well equipped with organs, such as the liver and kidneys, and the immune system, to rid itself of potential toxins and do an excellent job of cleansing itself without needing flushes or cleanses.“

Here are other concerns related to this “diet”:

1) You’re starving yourself. Your brain alone requires 600 calories per day to function optimally. By consuming only 500 calories per day, of course you’ll drop weight. But at what price? You’re cannibalizing your muscle mass, reducing your metabolism and consequently the effectiveness of your calorie burning. If I had you consume only 500 calories per day and then injected you with water, should I now call this the amazing water cure for weight loss? hCG has nothing to do with your weight loss. Starvation does.

2) It’s impossible to do. So you blame yourself (and not the author) when you cannot complete his plan. This is a core element of the scam. People who are overweight already feel guilty and are often filled with shame. After having laid down a lot of cash and not being able to successfully comply for a month or more, they figure “Oh well, just another diet I’ve failed at”.

3) It is unsustainable. This regimen is almost impossible to adhere to for more than a very short period of time. There are no healthy eating or physical activity behaviors to learn. Eventually you would have to enter the real world. And then, what do you do?

4) It’s unsafe. You cannot meet your baseline survival nutritional requirements on a starvation plan. You can seriously alter your healthy intestinal bacterial flora with repeated “cleanses and detox” regimens. This can lead to altered bowel function and inability to appropriately absorb food nutrients, which can then impair immune function.

Further, many of you have a lot of weight to remove. You may also have associated medical problems, including high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol and high blood sugar levels. You could also be on medications to treat these as well as mental conditions like depression and anxiety. When people buy into a diet scam like hCG, they usually don’t tell their medical team. Rapid weight loss, radically altered food consumption, cleanses and detox regimens can seriously affect your underlying mental and physical conditions and alter the clearance and blood level of medications you’re taking.

Don’t turn yourself into a science fair project. Beware of these radical scam approaches as they can deleteriously affect your health and wellbeing. In the best of all worlds, you’re working with credible health professionals to remove your excess weight.

5) You’re not breaking food addictions. The promise is that you’ll no longer be addicted to food and any abnormal eating behaviors. Credible research has clearly shown that starvation and useless injections are not the solution to food addictions. Behavioral modification, healthy eating practices and regular physical activity have clearly been shown to control food addictions.

6) You’re broke. Take a moment and add up the total costs of the books and products required. That’s why I’ve renamed this “diet” the High Cost Game scam.

Finally, there will always be an endless supply of frauds and scams created to prey on your desires to drop weight. To help guide you, here are the Food and Nutrition Science Alliances’ “Ten Red Flags of Junk Science“:

Recommendations that promise a quick fix.
Dire warnings of danger from a single product or regimen.
Claims that sound too good to be true.
Simplistic conclusions drawn from a complex scientific study.
Recommendations based on a single study.
Dramatic statements that are refuted by reputable scientific organizations.
Lists of “good” and “bad” foods.
Recommendations made to help sell a product.
Recommendations based on studies published without peer review.
Recommendations from studies that ignore difficulties among individuals or groups.
Always remember that if it sounds too good to be true, it is. Anything worth doing in your life requires time and effort to achieve and succeed. Run from false promises like the hCG scam. Stick with life-giving whole foods and physical activity. Now, that’s better living through your own chemistry.